3 Reasons to Stop Striving for the Perfect Work-Life Balance

by | May 5, 2022 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

Are we all striving for a perfect work-life balance that doesn’t actually exist?

They say a good work-life balance exists when you have good time management – when you balance your time on task so that you are not just spending your entire time on work, but also plenty of time on play.  “Do something you love and it won’t feel like work” is another good one – sound familiar?

If you are anything like me, you started your job for this reason; it is a passion and following your passion is one of the keys they tell us will help streamline your work-life balance.

But again, if you are anything like me, your job and that of motherhood combined still leaves you stressed, frazzled, overwhelmed and feeling like you just want to throw in the towel.   Yes they are both things you love and have plenty elements of play but they can also both have elements that are extremely hard work.

So you strive harder, looking for that missing piece to conquer this elusive work-life balance that everyone talks about. Some days you feel like you have it, but others just make you question everything.

I am here to share with you the 3 key reasons why that chase will remain illusive as well as what you should be focusing on instead.

1. You can multitask Time; but not energy

You’re rushing to get the kids from school to take them to their sport, you didn’t get all of your work finished so you have it with you to do when you get there.  The kids jump in the car and feel your mood, the conversation consists of short one-word answers to your questions before they start harassing each other.  You just can’t handle it today and you end up shouting at them to stop.

Taking a deep breath you remind yourself that this is your time with the kids, you’ve spent your allocated work time already and this is now the kids time.  Equal parts.

You decide to leave your work in the car and focus on the kids.  They are excited that they get your attention. But the frustrating part is that the entire time your mind is on that work in the car that you “should” be doing.  You’re annoyed that you just missed the “that” as you were asked “did you see that mummy”.  You shake your head as you put your phone down, this is not supposed to be work time.  Then you feel guilty for not being present for your kids and guilty because you are not getting the work done that you thought you would.  Guilty for trying to multitask and not succeeding at either.

Guilt you cannot afford to feel for too long before you hit burn-out.

2. Time is Finite; Energy, INFINITE

You learn your lessons and you put together a work schedule that affords you the luxury of actually spending quality time with your kids and coffee dates with your friends and date nights with your partner.    Maybe you have found the secret to a good work-life balance after all.

It sure took some planning and boundary setting but you are feeling great.  Until the tiredness kicks in, which leads to exhaustion, and mistakes.  There will only ever be 24 hours in the day; time is finite.  You can’t add time to make up for the activities you added.  So you either have to get less work done, or steal time from elsewhere to get the work done that you need to.

More often than not the first place you will steal time from is your sleep.  Late nights are only achievable for so long before you reach burn-out.

3. You can’t control time, but you create your own energy

Let’s dream big here and say you did mange to successfully set up a beautifully balanced schedule for your day that doesn’t steal from your sleep and has equal parts work and play, well, life will always find a reason to get in your way.   No two days will ever be the same – you can’t control time.

Your computer crashes and you lose all your work so you have to cancel your plans to re-do it, your kids get sick and you have no one else to watch them you will cancel your work to care for them.  If you get sick, well, there is no time for that now is there….

You cannot control anything that is external to you so even with the best laid plans they are going to be interfered with.  Using your time to predict and plan for or try to control events that you can never see coming which quickly lead you to burn-out.

So does the perfect work-life balance even exist?   I say no, but I also say don’t despair as you can still find balance – internal balance, which is even more profound.  So stop trying to balance your time and focus instead on balancing your energy!

How do you balance your energy?

Everything you think and do has a different vibrational energy – it makes you feel a different emotion. Some tasks are high energy meaning they raise your vibrational energy and make you feel good emotions, while other tasks are low energy meaning they lower your vibrational energy and leave you feeling flat or negative emotions.

Some tasks add to your energy stores, others steal from it. So to balance your energy you simply pair tasks together that are high and low energy so you are always replenishing your energy stores.

Here are the three reasons why balancing your energy is so much more effective than balancing your time:

1. You can multitask Time; but not energy

While you can multitask your work and play – and not actually achieve either thing you set out to do, you cannot multitask your energy. A high and low vibrational energy cannot co-exist at the same time.  You cannot feel both love and fear at the exact same time.  So if you are feeling fear, or frustration, or anger or even just flat you can balance that quickly and easily by completing a high energy task bringing you back into feelings of gratitude, love, excitement or peace so you can get on with your work or play and be more present and more efficient.

2. Time is Finite; Energy, INFINITE

While you cannot add more hours to your day you can continuously add more energy to your stores.  Energy is infinite which means you will be limitless.

3. You can’t control time, but you create your own energy

There is no point spending your time stressing over the things external to you as you have no control over them and cannot change them.  Whether or not your computer crashes or you get sick is out of your hands.  But you get to choose the energy that you face that hiccup with.

You can still complete a high energy task even if you are sick, high energy doesn’t mean it takes a lot of energy to do but rather that it raises your energy.  A quick nap is actually a high energy task, especially when you are sick and it will allow you the time to recover fully so you can then get back to doing other things more efficiently.

Stop balancing time and start balancing your energy.

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I'm Louise, and I am an empowerment coach guiding overwhelmed mums, like you, running your own online business to find the balance between being the heart of your family and the head of your business.

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